Life as a Stay-at-Home-but-Part-timer... Missionary.

Fact: We moved in three weeks and a few odd days ago, but there are still two rooms lined with boxes. Well, truthfully, one is lined with boxes. One is FILLED.

Fact: We're two whole weeks into the school year, and there's no schedule in sight.

Fact: Amelia will be five months old in 10 days, but we haven't taken a four-month-old picture. Or a two-month-old picture. I think there's one of her on her three-month-old milestone day?

Fact: The only baby book Amelia has is an excel spreadsheet we occasionally remember to type milestone accomplishments in... usually about three weeks after they happen.

Fact: I always thought I'd be a stay-at-home mom once I had a kid. But I'm totally not.

Once in a while, each (and sometimes all) of these things bother me. Or maybe often.

Part of me is really, really anxious to have the house completely unpacked, sorted, purged, organized, cleaned, and decorate. That same part of me doesn't want anyone to see the house (apartment) until it's 100% done. I also want a predictable, reliable, schedule, with all kinds of cool things in place, like... exercise, and leisure reading time, and regular blogging, and keeping up with friends & family. And to establish a routine with Amelia, where she's bathed every day at the same time, and she wears pajamas to bed more that 3 days a week, and she reads bedtime books at bedtime, and not just on the occasional afternoon. I'd also love to master meal-planning, grocery-shopping, laundry-doing. And not have to wait until Tim's home for an hour so I can go without Amelia, and then try to carry the refrigerated groceries up and leave the non-perishables in the trunk for Tim to bring up later... or the next day... and not forget the bacon in the trunk... and not have Tim have to run to the store to replace it at 10pm the night before we host the team brunch.

BUT just when I get a little disheartened by all of this, Tim stays home for the night (working on Bible study fliers and camping trip details on the computer) while Amelia sleeps, and I get to run over to 9pm Mass by myself; and see one of the Bible study girls attending the daily Mass (which was a goal we set last spring); and I hear an awesome homily on re-examining Peter's incredible faith in allowing Jesus to preach from his boat, answering the call to cast into the deep and becoming a fisher of men; then stay to visit with some students and have a few real conversations (not that the ones which begin with comments on Amelia's size and hair bow color aren't real, just limited); and pray in adoration with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. And remember how much I love Him. And how I wouldn't want to be doing anything besides... this.

Being a missionary family. And being a missionary Mom. And doing my best to play with Amelia when she's awake, but spend time with my disciples during naps, and doing my best to get to the library and loan and read Llama Llama Nighty Night, as well as the Gospels, and letting my husband help me get grocery shopping done so that I can cook for teammates and students and have them all over into our not-yet-put together home. So that we can share the Truth with them, share Jesus.

Because maybe this will only last another year or two, and I won't have 19-year-old friends to love and serve and share my life with, and I'll miss it, and have to beg our Lord for opportunities to share and reach out, instead of occasionally lamenting the frequency of such chances. Or maybe we'll be missionaries for years and years. And none of my children will have baby books, and that will just have to be okay, too.

I am blessed and I am grateful. And tomorrow when I'm dealing with the teething screams solo because Tim is camping with freshmen, and Sunday when there's somehow been no time for unpacking again this weekend because there's a student formation gathering that Bishop is dropping by... I'll try to remember that I wrote this tonight. :-)

truthfully and gratefully,
abigail