Back to the Point

I started this blog as an encouragement to myself, to see the good and beautiful even in the hard and frustrating parts of life. (I started it mid first trimester, when nearly everything was hard and frustrating.)

I even named the blog accordingly, so I'd remember. Each time I post another obviously-joyful update or another and nothing else, I feel slightly like I'm cheating. So here it is: something beautiful I've uncovered in a recent (minor) struggle.


I know everyone has different feeding/sleeping patterns that work for them and their babies, and I know my pediatrician encouraged me to never let Amelia fall asleep nursing, but it's always worked well for us. Amelia is too much of a busy-body to lay down and nurse until she's worn out and ready for a nap, and then she usually takes her fill, tosses back her head, and lets me put her down. Until recently.


It seems that Amelia can read my mind. I'm finally cracking down on the solid foods, as in, you know, making her eat a few bites of a few different kinds of food, a couple of times a day. (I know, I have a very low tough-parent-blood-count). It seems Amelia has realized that an increase in solid foods will eventually lead to a decrease in milk. A decrease in nursing, particularly.

And so, it seems that she's clinging on to nursing with every. ounce. of almost-asleep-energy she has. At first I thought it was just the cold. The poor babe had a runny nose, and couldn't sleep well, so I nursed/held her through a few naps. Now she's better, but she still doesn't want to let me go. At all. Every time, it seems, I am tempted to be impatient, anxious to put her down and go do this or clean that... I'll have her asleep, try to lay her down, and boom! She's awake and wants to nurse. Again. And it seems to be taking forever to get the house back in order after the holidays, and we've got students coming over, and guests coming soon... Come on Amelia!

But, God has been teaching me stillness, and gratefulness, and patience, and prayerfulness. What better time to calm my heart and pray during the day, then when I'm rendered stationary for twenty (or thirty) minutes? And really, how much longer do I have to hold this precious baby? She'll be nine months old in a few days! And walking before I know it! And who knows if or when the Lord will give us another baby? She's always adorable, but so delicate and beautiful asleep. I've decided I'm  grateful, now, for her nursing antics. It's been a beautiful reminder of how grateful I am for my daughter, for the gift of motherhood, and of my need to be small and still and pray.

Thank you, Lord.